In a relationship, married or not... YOU SHOULD READ THIS!
MARRIAGE
When
I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and
said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't
know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was
thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I
avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the
chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what
had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory
answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I
just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a
divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car,
and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had
become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and
energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so
dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had
expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea
of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer
and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late
and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but
went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired
after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In
the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want
anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She
requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a
life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken
marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something
more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room
on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's
duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I
thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together
bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Jane about my
wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was
absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce,
she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn't had any body
contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I
carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought
me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the
door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes
and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for
the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the
second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I
could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't
looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not
young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was
graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered
what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted
her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had
given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I
realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell
Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was
choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but
could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was
the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it
hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son
came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To
him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential
part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged
him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change
my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from
the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand
surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was
just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight
made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly
move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to
office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was
afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane
opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the
divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then
touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off
my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives,
not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since
I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her
until death do us apart.
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She
gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I
walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on
the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked
me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out
every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My
wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to
even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me
from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru
with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving
husband....
The small details of your lives are what
really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car,
property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive
for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to
be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
